Tanya Valentin

“Our Double Rainbow Teens see the world with eyes we do not have” Tanya Valentin

Our children are born sovereign and whole and I believe they need our protection, guardianship and allyship to safely thrive being themselves in this world! My name is Tanya Valentin and I stand as an advocate for Double Rainbow Teens.

I use the term ‘Double Rainbow Teen’ to describe teens who are both Neurodiverse and LBGTQ+ as both of these are a spectrum (and a miracle of nature just like a double rainbow). Evidence suggests that neurodiverse people, particularly those on the autism spectrum are 8 times more likely to be gender diverse and have a lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, or asexual sexual orientation, compared to neurotypical people (National LGBT Health Education Center).

This alongside the alarming, disproportionally high rates of depression, anxiety and suicide in neurodivergent people and those who belong to the LGBTQ+ community, helps us to capture the picture of how challenging it is for them to be both neurodiverse and queer individuals in society, as this can place them in a double minority! 

In a recent article published by the University of Cambridge, Elizabeth Weir, a PhD candidate at the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge, and the lead researcher of their study, said, “Understanding the intersectional identities of autistic individuals who are asexual, bisexual, homosexual, or ‘other’ sexuality is key. It is particularly important that healthcare providers and educators use language that is affirming and accepting of all sexual orientations and gender identities.”

I know firsthand the precarious sensitivity involved in raising double rainbow teens; there are unfathomable and complex needs involved in protecting, nurturing and supporting them in these modern times. As a Mother of 3 Double Rainbow Teens I have experienced so many unexpected and delicate scenario’s that emerged without provocation to threaten the safety and wellbeing of my children. 

I found myself thrust into situations where I didn’t know quite how to respond at the time! As someone who experienced unsafe adult behavior as a child, I recognized early on in life how dismissive and cruel many of the modern day assumptions are around how to interact with children and teens. My background in Early Childhood Education, Management was the place where I first started professionally advocating for young children to be treated with the respectful care they deserve. I have authored two books and developed training programs to educate adults to ensure the children and toddlers in their care were respected, kept safe and honored as sovereign beings.

“We not only respect babies, we demonstrate our respect every time we interact with them. Respecting a child means treating even the youngest infant as a human being, not an object.” Magda Gerber

As my children got older I was unexpectantly navigating life as a Mother of 3 Double Rainbow Teens which necessitated my need to apply my professional knowledge in a whole new context! Through many years of harrowing personal experience and incredible hours listening to my Double Rainbow Teens, I have recognized a great need to share this information with other devoted parents to ease the difficulties that I know surround this sensitive topic.

In all my years, I have come to learn this one thing – in order for our Neurodiverse and LGBTQ+ teens to safely thrive being themselves in this world, we as parents need to equip ourselves and our teens with the necessary skills to navigate in a world wired for ‘normal’. However, we can’t do this at the expense of abandoning ourselves or teaching our teens to mask who they are to make others more comfortable. The mental and emotional toll of these actions is too high.

My parent education 1:1 mentoring is aimed at providing you with the precise and personal skills and understanding to equip you to support, nurture and protect your double rainbow teen. I have collated a range of resources and actionable techniques to equip parents with the tools, skills and framework so our children and this new generation can thrive feeling safe to be who they are in the world.

We all desperately want to honor our children and ensure they are safe and yet the neurotypical and heterosexual bias that informs the majority of society creates a lens where their very existence can prompt comments, situations and danger that needs to be recognized and responded to with skill.

As supportive loving Parents, I know how vital it is to equip oneself and our teens with the eyes, understanding and knowledge to feel safe being who they are and take up the space they were born to fill. We want to make sure we have the time, the guidance and the practical examples so that it really translates into clear confidence so you know how to respond and you can call on the information to recognise and reply to each scenario. This is why my 1:1 parent education provides the privacy, support and personalized response to support both you as a parent and your double rainbow teen/s!

Book your complimentary 30-minute Parent Allyship Connection Call with me to get started.

Tanya Valentin

What you can expect from our 1-1 Mentoring Allyship:

  • Confidential, personalized support for you and your family.
  • Empathy, understanding and guidance for you and your parenting journey from a mentor with  decades of professional experience supporting children and families and lived personal experience with her own double rainbow children.
  • Evidence-based, practical tools that will equip you with a skill set to empower you to feel confident in your role as a parent to your teens.

How it works: