There is a lot of buzz in social media at the moment about female sovereignty, empowerment for women and embodying Queen energy.
If you follow this blog, have seen a post about my book, or read some of the content on my website you may have noticed that I speak about how to AWAKEN Your Own Queen.
You may be wondering what all of this means.
Who Is A Queen?
The short answer is, YOU!
The Queen archetype is a mature energy that is alive and available to every woman. It is the energy we use to lead, speak up, delegate, set boundaries and claim the truly magnificent, powerful beings we are! The Queen is a highly influential archetype. She is extremely polarising as many women want to be her, but are at the same time, extremely intimidated by her.
Every woman has a Queen already in her waiting to claim her power!
Listen to Imagine a Queen, by Tanya Valentin, to hear the qualities of the Queen Archetype.
So, if this energy is in us and available to us at any time, why don’t we claim it for ourselves? Why do we find it so difficult to AWAKEN Our Own Queen?
Here are 10 reasons why you may not have claimed Your Crown yet.
You Have Been Taught Not To Trust Other Women
Many of us have grown up with stories about how we can’t trust other women. In fact, the treachery of women goes right back to the creation story. Myths and legends are full of cautionary tales too.
Women are catty. Women are difficult. Other women will steal your man. Women are the competition!
You may have had experiences that you took as evidence to confirm this “truth” for yourself. These experiences may have cast you in the shadow of the Wounded Warrior (the Shadow Huntress archetype) where we feel that we can only depend on ourselves. Or the Fragile Lover (the Shadow Lover archetype) where the need for drama feeds our fragile self-esteem.
You Have Been Taught Not To Trust Yourself
Additionally, when we are under the influence of the Nameless or Shadow Maiden archetype, we believe that we must conform and seek approval from others to be accepted. This causes us to stop looking inward for direction. Instead, we focus all our energy externally in the hopes of pleasing others or being rescued by “our prince in shining armour”.
A Queen surrounds herself with a team of advisors, mentors, and ladies in waiting.
A Queen trusts herself and her decisions.
A Queen trusts her team, not only outside of herself but also within.
It Is Easier To Be A Protector Of Other Women Or To “Fix” Others Than To Accept Other Queens As An Equal
When we are influenced by the wound of the Shadow Mother archetype, we can feel the need to control others and the outcome. The Wounded Mother likes to “fix” people or take everybody’s problems on as if they are her own.
The Huntress is the natural protector of other women and an advocate for them. The Wounded Warrior has put up armour to protect herself due to woundings she sustained in past experiences. She finds it safer to protect herself by, saving and advocating for other women. She does this instead of healing herself and accepting them as a fellow Queen!
A Queen knows that when she heals and uplifts herself, she makes it possible for other Queens to rise with her.
You Find Other Queens Intimidating
We may know other Queens. Women who have already claimed their crown and have stepped into their sovereignty (women who have embraced and accepted their true selves and live their lives with authenticity on their own terms). You may look at these Queens, who radiate self-love, self-confidence and self-worth and feel a bit intimidated by them. You may have, as I have, heard endless stories about celebrity divas, “Karens” or rich bitches. Honestly, our fairy tales, movies and social media are full of these “Evil Queen” stereotypes.
We are not taught to value powerful women. Powerful women are shamed and held up as an example of “too muchness” which can be frightening. This is especially true if we have been taught to value being liked over claiming what is rightfully ours.
A Queen values her own energy, and she sets and maintains firm boundaries in order to preserve these for herself. This can be hugely confronting for someone who identifies strongly with the Shadow Maiden or Shadow Mother Archetypes.
Everybody falls under the shadow of the Imposter Queen Archetype sometimes and this is normal. However, you do not have to be like other Queens, being yourself is enough! You can choose how you AWAKEN Your Own Queen!
You Value Masculine Ways Of Leading
We as young girls and indeed even as women grow up with the male-dominated example of what it means to lead. We have been taught the value of “going it alone”, competing, “selling ourselves”, “working till we drop”, scarcity, domination and hustling for our worth.
This is very much a characteristic of the Wounded Warrior, who because of previous injuries has learnt that the only way to protect herself is to armour up. Or even the shadow Queen archetype who feels that she must compete against other Queens.
A Queen knows that there is enough room, gold, and treasure in the world for all to share and that she doesn’t need to hustle, compete, or put others down in order to be a Queen.
A Queen uses her life lessons and shadows as tools from which to grow with wisdom and humility and for the greater good.
A Queen learns from her mistakes and practices using her Queenly skills, because she knows this makes her a better Queen.
You Believe That It Is Safer To Stay Small And Invisible
When we claim our Sovereign Self and everything that this entails, we open ourselves up to be both celebrated and criticised.
Either way, being visible can be terrifying!
This is especially true if you have been raised to be “seen and not heard” or spent your life safely tucked away in the shadow of the Nameless Maiden. When we have come to associate approval and fitting in with love, connection and survival, going against this programming can be petrifying. It is also far easier to abdicate decision-making to others and to blame them when things don’t go to plan.
A Queen stands sure and true in the confidence of her worth and divine sovereignty.
A Queen is whole and does not need the approval of others to lead or define her.
A Queen does not discount herself, diminish who she is, or hide behind her clay, but vulnerably and courageously allows herself to shine in all of her golden splendour.
You Have Been Given Poor Examples Of “Queendom” And Have An Unhealthy Relationship with Power
In a culture that values the Maiden and Mother archetype, we have been given little to no example of what it means to be a Queen. The majority of Queens represented in our culture, are what I call the Evil Queen archetype. Just think about the stories of your childhood, how was the Queen portrayed?
We are warned repeatedly about the dangers of being “too powerful”, “too successful”, “too sexy”, “too emotional”, “too opinionated”, and “too wealthy”. We have had significant warnings embedded in our collective psyche, such as the Salam witch trials, about what will happen if we deviate from the “path”. You may have interpreted these warnings to mean that your personal power is “unsafe” or “too much” for you to handle.
In movies, books, and even on social media we are shown the example of what it means to be “wealthy and successful”. We are told that “power corrupts” and that power is going to change us into someone who we don’t like. Being “nice”, “clueless” and “poor” is shown to be synonymous with being accepted. We are fed a “cookie-cutter” version of what it means to embody the Queen archetype, and this may not fit in with who you are.
This is why in my work I speak about Awakening Your OWN Queen. Being a Queen is a coming into yourself, deciding who you are authentically and living your own life on your own terms.
You decide what being a Queen means to you!
You Don’t Value Who You Are
We put so many limitations on ourselves.
When we stay small in the shadow of the Maiden or are influenced by the Selfless Mother Archetype, we defer our power to others. This can lead us to believe that the highest virtue for us to aspire to is being selfless, compliant and helpless.
As I mentioned previously, there is tremendous safety in this learnt helplessness. However, the sense of security we experience with being a powerless ‘damsel in destress’ comes with a hefty price tag. The price we pay is the lost connection with who we are.
So many women after spending their twenties, thirties and even forties in the role of Mother or Maiden reach a tipping point. A stage in their life where we can feel so lost and stuck and which can weigh heavily on our sense of wellbeing and enjoyment in life.
I recall my pivotal moment. Standing naked in front of the mirror, looking at the woman in the reflection before me and not even recognising who she was anymore. It was as if there was a wild woman inside of me, who was banging her fists against the walls I had built around her and screaming at the top of her lungs for me to let her out! (Read more about this story in my book)
You Have an Unhealthy Relationship with Money
Like many of our stories and beliefs about power, all of us grow up with limiting stories and beliefs about money. This can limit you when you try to AWAKEN your own Queen.
Just as we inherit our sense of self-worth from our parents, we also inherit our money stories from our parents. Additionally, we may have had setbacks that led us to create self-protecting behaviour patterns, which block our wealth and abundance.
You may have heard or believed stories such as “People in our family aren’t rich or successful”, “Money is the root of all evil”, “Money will change me into someone I don’t like”, and “I don’t deserve money”, “Money is dirty and sleazy” or my personal favourite, “We’re not Rockefellers we’re the other fellers!”
When our money stories are running the show, this can be detrimental to us claiming our own wealth, success and abundance as an awakened, powerful Queen!
You Think That You Have to be Chosen
Think back to the fairy tales you grew up with. The fair Maiden waiting to be picked by the Prince, so that she can become a Princess and live happily ever after…
Many of us are still that Maiden, are waiting to be chosen. Waiting to be given permission to AWAKEN your own Queen. Waiting for something outside of ourselves to happen so that we can live our most abundant life. This could be waiting to “lose the weight” so that we can be happy. Waiting for “the one” to come along and save us so that we can live happily ever after. Waiting for the person who upsets us at work to leave so that we can finally be promoted and have job satisfaction…
The truth is that you do not have to wait to be chosen!
You can choose yourself!
You can back yourself, and choose to rise as the Queen you already are!
AWAKEN Your Own Queen
Did any of these points resonate with you? Which of these areas do you most need to heal?
I would love to hear from you in the comments!
Are you wondering how to AWAKEN Your Own Queen?
You can heal these Shadow Archetypes that are keeping you small and claim your crown for yourself! In my book, When She Wakes, She Will Move Mountains I guide you through a journey of self-discovery to heal your Shadow Archetypes and reconnect you with your wild, authentic, inner Queen who is already inside of you.
You can be the Queen of your own life!
Buy my book When She Wakes, She Will Move Mountains.
As a Midlife Mentor for Women I support Soul-Led, Midlife Women who are on an awakening journey, to reconnect with, love and trust the woman behind the roles, the responsibilities and the weight of the expectations of others.
I help you to unlearn the beliefs, behaviours and stories that no longer serve you so that you can live the next half of your life in a way feels true to who you authentically are as the Queen of your own life!
BOOK A FREE CLARITY SESSION WITH ME HERE