My Great Big Midlife Unlearning



In our lives we all make unconscious agreements with ourselves, others and life about who we are and what we are capable of.  

This process of “agreement-making” starts from when we are very young and these agreements become the foundation from which we create our lives. Our agreements determine the actions or inaction that we will take, the relationships we enter into and what we think we are capable of. Until we make these unconscious agreements conscious, we will continue to repeat the same behaviours over and over again in vain, hoping for a different result.

This can cause us to feel stuck, frustrated, depressed, angry and even bitter with ourselves and how our lives have turned out. If we want to create positive change in our lives we have to choose positive new actions.

  • The first step in creating this change is to become aware of our “shoulds”, “musts” and “have to’s” – the commitments we made before we had the gift of discernment. 
  • We then need to consciously decide which of these we would like to keep and which of these we would like to rewrite for ourselves. 
  • The final step is to integrate and maintain our new agreements (which is best done with the help of a mentor to keep us accountable).

In this episode, I talk about my old agreements and the new commitments I have chosen to replace them with.  Perhaps we have some in common?

This is a good opportunity for you to reflect on your unconscious agreements and unlearn alongside me.

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