How to be the Queen of your own life

Do want to be the Queen of your own life?

Chances are, if you are here reading this blog, the answer is ‘yes’.

But what does it really mean? What does it mean to embrace your ‘feminine sovereignty and to be the Queen of your own life?

This blog is the last in my series on Feminine Archetypes. I will shed light on what feminine sovereignty means for you and uncover who the Queen Archetype and her Shadow Archetypes are. Discover what it means to truly step into your own power as the queen of your own life!

If you would like to find out how the Queen Archetype relates to your own Queen’s Journey – Click Here to find out more…

The Queen Archetype

The Queen embraces her power, she is confident and a natural-born leader. She is clear about her vision and her divine mission. The Queen represents mastery and female sovereignty (our dominion over ourselves). She knows her worth and doesn’t tolerate negative, unhelpful attitudes around her.

The Queen is loyal, protective, and responsible. She can make good decisions for herself and others and has a natural drive to form meaningful alliances. She is referred to as the ‘Queen B’ in social circles and will often enjoy being the centre of attention.

The Queen knows the importance of investing in herself. She ensures that she surrounds herself with the best mentors and experts. The Queen knows the value of growing and challenging herself. You’ll find that she’s on a divine path and is here to make great change and serve others. The Queen’s strength lies in her fierce loyalty to her partnerships and her ability to lead. She is connected to her power, her integrity, and her sovereignty. She trusts her team and she delegates power and uplifts others while staying confident in her own worth.

When the Queen seeks a companion, she is attracted to a powerful partner. She will demonstrate complete loyalty to him/her, supporting them to achieve their goals.

The Queen values her energy. She recognises that her time, energy and focus are precious resources. Therefore, she creates and maintains firm boundaries for herself to preserve these resources for herself.

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

What Is Feminine Sovereignty?

The word sovereignty means to have ‘dominion’ or ‘authority’ over and is connected to a royal leader. Throughout the millennia women have been treated as property for their fathers and husbands to control. Women have been silenced, suppressed and excluded from positions of leadership and power.

Throughout the generations, men have had authority over women. Many of the freedoms you enjoy today as a woman were not available to your grandmother. We are less than 100 years removed from that time in history. We have not yet healed from this as our grandmother’s struggles and pain still impact you and our collective psyche.

According to the author, Bethany Webster,

(Feminine) Sovereignty is a power sourced from within, from a woman’s connection with in herself. It’s a power sourced from your own connection with your body, your connection with nature, with your heart and with all life. It’s NOT a false, patriarchal power, wich is based in power-over someone or something else. It’s not competitive, dominant, submissive or hierachical in any way. That’s why a woman’s sovereignty individually and even more so collectively, is a HUGE threat to patriachy and why women’s bodies and psyches have been demonised, pathologised and supressed – because we don’t actually need a mediating force outside of us in order to access it and embody it.

Bethany Webster

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

How to be the Queen of your own life

Examples Of The Queen Archetype In Our Culture

Examples of the Queen in our popular culture are Beyonce, Elsa in Frozen, Angela Bassett, Queen Elizabeth and Denise Duffield Thomas.

In Greek culture, the Goddess associated with the Queen is Hera, wife of Zeus (goddess of women, marriage, family and childbirth). As mentioned in my blog on The Maiden, Persephone also has claims to the crown as Queen of the Underworld. The Hindu culture worship Indrani, Queen of the gods and the Egyptians worship Isis.

Queen of the Gods - Isis
Photo by antonio filigno on

What Does It Mean To Be The Queen Of Your Own Life?

Even if you don’t feel like you are a Queen, every woman has a wild, authentic, knowing, empowered Queen inside her. I believe, that ultimately, there is no one way to be a Queen. Every woman has an innate knowing of what sovereignty looks like in her life and means to her.

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

This is what being the Queen of your own life means to me:

  • A Queen knows who she is and does not allow others to discount her worth.
  • A Queen is a connected and visionary leader.
  • A Queen is connected to her own divinity and trusts that she is here for a purpose.
  • A Queen makes decisions and takes action from her higher self.
  • A Queen is aligned to her purpose. She is confident in and trusts her mission, decisions, abilities and the power of her intuition.
  • A Queen does not need others to choose or validate her.
  • If a Queen is a mother, she knows that she can be a loving mum and live her life in a way that feels true to who she is as a woman.
  • A Queen lives to serve, support and uplift others. She knows that she can only do this from a place of love and power. She sees it as vital to protect her energy with boundaries that she sets and maintains for herself and others.
  • A Queen has a team, she allows others to help her and attracts aligned support from others.
  • A Queen invests in herself and her mission. She is committed to her own growth and healing. She knows that her growth and healing are not only powerfully transformational for her but for the collective all.

For reasons why you may not think that you are a Queen read my blog HERE

What it means to be the Queen of your life may look different to you.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect. Create your own list of Queenly qualities. Remember there is no right or wrong answer here, whatever feels right for you is perfect.

How to be the Queen of your own life
Photo by Bestbe Models on

Shadow Queen Archetypes

The Shadow Archetypes of the Queen is The Evil Queen and The Veiled Queen

The Evil Queen

The Evil Queen has the predisposition to be fairly judgemental, image-conscious and shallow. The Evil Queen is prone to feel possessiveness and jealousy which can lead her to be quite vindictive. She wields her power cleverly so it can manipulate others or put them down. The Evil Queen lacks humility and is likely to look down on and judge others harshly.

The Evil Queen has a temper. She projects this towards other women especially if she feels they have stepped on her territory or jeopardised her relationships. The Shadowed Queen values appearances and the significance it gives her. Therefore, she will overlook the indiscretions of a partner or a spouse for the sake of appearances.

The Evil Queen In Our Culture

In a culture that values the Maiden and Mother Archetype, we have been given little to no example of what it means to be a Queen. The majority of Queens represented in our culture, are Evil Queen Archetypes.

The Evil Queen Archetype is how we have been taught to view powerful women. We were raised on ‘Evil Queen Stories’ (think of the queen in Snow White or Maleficent). Our social media, movies and books are brimming with endless stories about celebrity divas, ‘Karens’ or rich bitches. Our fairy tales, movies and social media are full of these ‘Evil Queen’ stereotypes.

I invite you to think about the stories of your childhood, how was the Queen portrayed? What did it cause you to believe about women and power?

How to be the queen of your own life
Photo by cottonbro on

Powerful women are shamed and held up as an example of ‘too muchness’ which can be frightening. This is especially true if we have been taught to value being liked over claiming what is rightfully ours.

We are warned repeatedly about the dangers of being ‘too powerful’, ‘too successful’, ‘too sexy’, ‘too emotional’, ‘too opinionated’, ‘too wealthy’. We’ve had significant warnings embedded in our collective psyches, such as the Salam witch trials, or the beheadings of the wives of King Henry VIII about what will happen if we deviate from the ‘path’ or get ‘too big for your station’. We interpret these warnings to mean that our personal power is ‘unsafe’ or ‘too much’ for us to handle.

In movies, books, and social media we are shown the example of what it means to be ‘wealthy and ‘successful’. We are told that ‘power ‘corrupts’ and that power is going to change us into someone whom we don’t like. Being ‘nice’, ‘clueless’ and ‘poor’ are shown to be synonymous with being accepted. We are fed a ‘cookie-cutter’ version of what it means to embody the Queen Archetype, and this may not fit in with who we are.

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

The Veiled Queen

The energy of the Queen is ignited when we lead. However, we may notice the traits of the Veiled Queen in ourselves when we have not yet integrated the power of our own sovereignty.

AWAKEN Your Own Queen

It’s normal to feel frightened by our own strength and potential. We have a habit of keeping ourselves small and self-protect when we feel that our light is shining too brightly. The Queen is a highly influential Archetype. She is extremely polarising as an Archetype. Many women want to be her, but are at the same time, extremely intimidated by her.

You may know other Queens. These are women who have already claimed their crown and have stepped into their sovereignty. You may look at these Queens, who radiate self-love, self-confidence and self-worth and feel a bit intimidated by them. This comparison may cause you to stay veiled and hidden in the shadows.

As young girls, we grew up with the male-dominated example of what it means to lead. We have been taught the value of ‘going it alone’, competing, ‘selling ourselves’, ‘working till we drop’, scarcity, domination and hustling for our worth. These beliefs can trigger Wounded Warrior tendencies in us because our previous injuries have taught us to protect ourselves by armouring up. This too can bring to the surface the Evil Queen Archetype who feels that she must compete against other Queens.

Stepping Out From Behind The Veil

When we claim our sovereign self and everything that this entails, we open ourselves up to be both celebrated and criticised.

Being visible can be terrifying! This is especially true if you have been raised to be ‘seen and not heard’ or spent your life safely tucked away in the shadow of the Unnamed Maiden. When we have come to associate approval and fitting in with love, connection and survival, going against this programming can be petrifying.

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

It is also far easier to abdicate decision-making to others and to blame them when things don’t go to plan. If respect for your own boundaries has not yet been set in place, this will allow others to walk all over you. It is common to feel as if we need partnerships and relationships to complete us. This can be true in our relationships and in business where we may feel fearful of standing in the power of our own worth. In this state, we abdicate in making decisions and compare ourselves to other Queens which leads to feeling inadequate.

Many of us are still that Maiden, waiting to be chosen. Waiting to be given permission to step into our power as our own Queen without realising that we can choose ourselves.

Do you want to be the Queen of your own life? Buy my book.

Archetype Mapping Session Mentoring with Tanya


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