I’ve felt like my future was predetermined before I was even born. I was the ‘quiet’ girl, the ‘sensitive’ girl, the ‘seen and not heard’ girl, the ‘do as you’re told’ girl, the ‘nice’ girl.
Raised in the rocky ground of turbulence and childhood abuse, I grew up feeling as if it wasn’t safe to be me. I had to ‘mask up’, hide, and shield others, as I became someone else in order to be accepted.
I believed that my words were not valid and that my opinions did not count. I withdrew, starved myself to fit in. I worked so hard at pretending that I disappeared.
This was the slew of expectations that I was born into. The silent battle I have had to fight against. The story that I believed to be true about myself that I would need to unlearn.
I always knew that I wanted to write. I was told that writing wasn’t a worthwhile pursuit. That it wasn’t a ‘real job’ because I was the ‘get married and have kids girl’.
But I knew deep down that I was meant to be more. That my life could be so much more.
These weighty expectations didn’t just infect me. Amid the sound of sirens and stark fluorescence of hospital lights, it dawned on me that I had unconsciously seen these expectations pass from my life straight onto my daughters like an infection.
I knew then, that I had no choice but to heal, not only for myself but for my children too!
Through false starts and trial and error, accept the expectations that had been handed to me.
I did not have to live this story. Even though I was wired to think and act the way that my childhood taught me to, I could make new decisions, learn new skills and choose a new way forward for myself and my family.
It was safe to be me. To be seen as me. To trust me.
As I awakened, I realised that I had everything I already needed inside of me, glimmering under the surface.
I did not need anyone’s permission.
I grew up believing that I was a damsel in distress but I was actually a Queen.
A Queen who could choose herself.
A Queen who was already capable of moving her own mountains – slaying her own damn dragons.
Born worthy, all I had to do was claim my own crown!
I know that as a parent, you want to do the best for your children and that you do not want to pass on your ‘story’ to them.
My approach when working with families focuses on respect, relationships and connection. This practice equips you to reconnect with and honour your own sovereignty (your right to be seen and accepted as your authentic self and to live your life on your own terms) while teaching your teen to access and advocate for their sovereignty. Let me guide you to feel safe and grounded in yourself as a parent so that you can be a powerful role model of this for your children.
A mother who radiates self love and self-acceptance immunizes her children from poor self-esteem