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Tanya Valentin

Support for Parents and Families of Neurodiverse & LGBTQ+ Teens

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August 12, 2021 by Tanya | Comments Off on Sign-up for preorders of my book

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Recent Posts

How to Understand Your Teen From A Neurodivergent And LGBTQ+ Perspective
Teenage Bids For Connection – How To Respond To Your Teen
No One Is ‘Broken’, No One Needs To Be ‘Fixed’
Connection-Focused Parenting – Principle Two: Everyone Is ‘Good Inside’
The One Thing Your Teen Needs Most From You – Radical Acceptance, How To Give It

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Do you need support for your family but are too af

Do you need support for your family but are too afraid to ask for help?

I get it. Your family are your number one priority and it is super important to you that your children are happy and do well in life. We all want this.

There is so much pressure on us as parents to get it 'right' and to have all the answers. In a culture that prioritises perfection and leaves no room for mistakes, it can feel terrifying to get help. Admitting that we might not have it all together can feel really vulnerable.

As a mum who values her family above everything I totally get how scary it can all be.

But I also know that if you are reading this you have reached the point where you know that you need some help, not just for your kids but for YOU!

If you have reached this point and would like a safe, judgement-free space to be heard and held as a mum reach out to me by sending me a DM or checking the link in my bio to book a FREE 30-minute call with me.

#parentingteens
#parentingneurodivergents #parentinglgbtqyouth #autismmom #parentingtranskids

Finding common ground with our teenagers can feel

Finding common ground with our teenagers can feel hard sometimes for both parents and teens.

The teenage years are when our children try new things, figure out who they are and distinguish how they are different to their parents or other family members. It is a time of extreme change, packed with loads of powerful emotions. It can feel really intense sometimes.

If your teen has recently come out to you as lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, non-binary or transgender and you are struggling with how to deal with this with sensitivity and understanding here are some tips to get you started.

I know that this can be a sensitive topic for a lot of families. If you would like personalised support for your family reach out to me in my DMs.

#lgbtqfamily #lgbtparenting #parentinglgbtqyouth #parentingtranskids #parentingteens

If I could shout this from the rooftops I would!

If I could shout this from the rooftops I would!

🌈 Affirming and Accepting our Neurospicy and LGBTQ+ teens for who they are is the most important thing we can do as parents.

Our children should never doubt that we see them as 'enough'.

Give me a 🌈 if you agree!

#parentinglgbtqyouth #parentingneurodiversekids #parentingautisticteens #parentingtranskids #autismacceptance

As a parent of a neurospicy teen, you may need to

As a parent of a neurospicy teen, you may need to adapt our approach to connecting with your teenager in a neuro-affirming way.

Remember connection capital is only built if the other person feels seen, heard and understood by you. This means that if your neurodivergent child who has a different brain and communication style from you do not feel that you 'get them' your attempts will not build connection capital in the way that you intended them to.

Here are my top five tips for building connection capital with your neurodivergent teen in a neuro-affirming way.

Which one did you find most helpful? Let me know in the comments👇

#parentingneurodiversekids #parentingteens #parentingautisticteens #parentingautism #autismmom

One of my all-time favourite Brene Brown quotes.

One of my all-time favourite Brene Brown quotes. As a person who felt 'other' for a lot of her life and raised children who often felt 'other' it is important to know that even if we are different or feel different that we all still belong.

This is your Sunday night reminder - You don't need someone else to validate your value or your worth. True belonging is something we give ourselves it does not come from an outside source.

Sending you love for the coming week ahead 🤗

#selflove #selfconnection #motheringthemother #neurodiversityacceptance #autismacceptance

Parents of teenagers. Settle this family debate f

Parents of teenagers. Settle this family debate for me🤔

What do you think is better? An ingredient household or a convenience household?

#parents
#parentingteens
#momlife

Are you a parent of a teenager who is neurodiverge

Are you a parent of a teenager who is neurodivergent and or part of LGBTQ+ community?

Do you struggle with how to understand your your teen or see things from their point of veiw?

You are not alone, this is something that many parents find challenging.

We will not always see things through our children’s eyes or agree with our teen’s point of view. Neither will they with ours. This is just human nature.

However, as a parent, it is important to try to figure out how to understand your teen and to see things from their point of view (even if you disagree with them). The reason for this is ‘connection capital’. As discussed in my previous blog, it is important to recognise, interpret and act on your teen’s bids for connection. This will support you to build a trusting relationship with your teen through the depositing of ‘connection capital’ into their ‘connection account’. The more regularly you deposit into your children’s ‘connection account’ the stronger and more resilient your relationship with them will be.

If this is a struggle for you and you would like to learn how to see things from your teenager's point of view I have something that can help.

This week on the Connected Parent Blog, I explore why it may be challenging to understand your teen and strategies that you can use to be a better listener as well as how to connect with your teen through empathy and validating their feelings. I also give you tools to help you to adapt your parenting approach to support your neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ Teen.

To read more about how you as a parent can understand, connect with and support your teenager check the link in my stories👆

#parentingteens
#parentingautisticteens
#parentinglgbtqyouth

Building connection capital with all teenagers is

Building connection capital with all teenagers is important but it is even more important with our neurospicy teens.

Our Autistic and ADHD teens can have a much higher stress platform because of sensory processing issues and co-occurring conditions such as being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria). All these things can lead a neurodivergent person to move into Defense Mode, which can manifest outwardly as melt-downs, shut-downs, and dysregulated behaviours. Spending prolonged periods in Defense Mode can lead to burnout which can be described as an extreme mental, physical and emotional exhaustion accompanied by a reduced capacity to deal with stresses of any kind. It can lead to depression, a neurodivergent person going nonverbal and even suicidal thoughts and actions.

We can support our neurodivergent teens when they are in Defense Mode by making accommodations for them in our parenting and by ensuring that we have a healthy 'connection account' with them topped up regularly with lots of deposits.

If you would like some ideas on how to deposit connection capital in your neurospicy teen's connection account check out my blog. The link is in my bio.

If you found this post helpful remember to save it for later.

#parentingteens #parentingautisticteens #autismmom #parentingneurodiversekids #parenting

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