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Raised on the rocky ground of turbulence and childhood abuse, I grew up feeling as if it wasn’t safe to be me. I had to ‘mask up’, hide, and shield others, as I became someone else in order to be accepted.

As a child, I had this felt sense that I did not belong. I was the ‘quiet girl’ the ‘shy girl’ the ‘do as you’re told girl’.

I learned all of the rules of how I was supposed to act so that I did not upset the adults in my life and I could be safe. But this isn’t real safety!

 

I believed that my words were not valid and that my opinions did not count. I withdrew and starved myself to fit in. I worked so hard at pretending that I actually felt like I had disappeared.

This is so often the experience for those of us who are or who are considering if they may be neurodivergent. Witnessing my own children, I began to recognize this same sense of them being ‘othered’ in them too.

I knew early on that my children were ‘different’ as they had identified as LGBTQ+ from a young age. Eventually, at the end of 2019, after many years of mental health struggles, we received the diagnosis that our eldest child, Madi was Autistic.  And because Neurodiversity runs in families, subsequent tests revealed that their younger sister, Morgan was also Autistic. (We are currently on the waiting list to have our youngest formally assessed however we suspect that Theo may be Neurodivergent too.)

Book your complimentary 30-minute Parent Connection Call with me to get started.

Parent coaching

As a neurodivergent person and the parent of neurodivergent children, I believe that it’s vital that we dismantle the thinking and responses to our children, their neurodivergent identity and behaviour so that we can celebrate the beautiful
beings we have been chosen to parent. 

I started my advocacy work in Early Childhood Education, 25 years ago, because I felt drawn to working with children. My work, which is greatly influenced by the teachings of Dr Emmi Pikler and reverence for the sovereignty of even our youngest babies, I felt a calling to equip and support children to feel safe and receive the respect they deserve.

 

I further invested in my professional skillset by becoming a certified Tuning in to Kids and Tuning in to Teens parenting program facilitator.

I developed training programs to educate adults on the need for safe and respectful care towards children (especially non-verbal
babies and toddlers). I went on to write 2 books and mentor Early Childhood Managers and their teams to create respect and recognition for a child’s right to be, choose and become.

I believe that we are on the edge of a paradigm shift as to how we perceive, respond to and include Neurodiversity in our culture. Our children’s and our own Authentic Neurodivergent Identities deserve to be respected and honoured.

As parents it is our job to step up, and reconnect with what was denied in us so can be the pioneers in change for our future generations. Our generational pain has been ‘hot potatoed‘ to our children for too long. 

As we reconnect with our sovereignty, unlearn, heal and reparent ourselves as Neurodivergent Parents, Guardians and Allies we can equip our Neurodivergent Children and Teens to validate their own identities and advocate for themselves in a world wired for
‘normal’.

As a Proud Mama of 3 Neurodivergent children, I know firsthand the precarious sensitivity involved in raising a child with complex needs! I recognize the lack of support there is for parents who want to know how to navigate Neurodiversity when it comes to their children, teens and themselves.

There is so much misinformation, confusion and cultural stigma attached to our and our children’s innate ways of knowing and being. This is why I offer parents partnership and individualized support with my 1-1 Parent Coaching Partnership.

This is also my motivation for The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox, a neuro-affirming, trauma-informed, 6-week online group coaching program and community for New Zealand-based parents of Neurodivergent children and teens.

Together we can create the change that we hope to see in the world for your children and ourselves.