We all start off our parenting journey with a ‘plan’.
A set of expectations, dreams and aspirations for ourselves, our children and what being a ‘good parent’ should look like.
Chances are your ‘plan’ looked nothing like this.
When we or our children are struggling, we can be so hard on ourselves as parents as we try to pick apart our lives and find ‘that one thing’ that we could have said or done differently in order to avoid what is going on for our kids.
Some days parenting can feel like your universe is a million pieces. All individual moving parts, spinning in a never-ending cosmos around you. It can feel as if you are juggling all these different hand-spun glass balls – delicate constellations, the life force of others in your hands as you desperately juggle – hands moving in a blur trying to stop them from falling each one as fragile and precious to you as the other.
On days like this, it can feel impossible to ask for help.
I get it.
For so many of us parents, family is our most treasured value. This means that not only are our families the most precious thing to us, but the high expectations that we hold ourselves to because of this value becomes the standard from which we judge ourselves the harshest on.
I know what it is like to look at your struggling child and blame yourself. To pick up the courage to ask for help only to feel the cold stare of counsellors and medical professionals’ assessment of your parenting.
I know what it is like to come to the realisation that you may be Neurodivergent yourself and not know how or where to access support.
I know what it feels like to be dismissed and to be told that your instincts are wrong or that your children’s (and your own) struggles are all ‘in your head’.
It can feel really hard to trust others with these most vulnerable parts of you.
I’ve been where you are and I can help.
In all my years, I have come to learn this one thing. In order for us as Neurodivergent Parents and our Neurodivergent Teens to safely thrive being ourselves in this world, we as parents need to equip ourselves and our children with the tools and skills necessary to advocate for our right to take up the space we were born to fill.
I know that this is not always easy especially if you are a late-diagnosed Autistic or person with ADHD.
You likely spent the majority of your life believing that you were a ‘failed’ neurotypical person and learned to believe the worst about yourself.
While on the journey to reconnect with and reclaim your Authentic Neurodivergent Identity, you will find that there is much to unmask and unlayer:
- There is often deep and immense intergenerational trauma in Neurodivergent families to heal as unrecognized Autism and ADHD (and the ways to which this was responded) can span multiple generations.
- You will have internalized messages, defunct identities and maladaptive behaviours that you were forced to take on to survive in this world as a misunderstood Neurodivergent person. These will need to be lovingly challenged and put to rest.
- Chances are that it may take some time to learn to accept, know and trust this ‘new version’ of you that has been calling out for your attention.
- You will need to be patient with yourself as you heal and rewire strategies that were necessary for your survival and are still prevalent in parenting your children and teenagers.
I can feel hard but it is worth it.
You have the powerful opportunity to decide today; that the pain has travelled through your family for long enough. And that it ends with you now!
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”
We cannot hope to give our children something we do not have.
I specialize in working in partnership with parents who are seeking help in the following areas:
- Guidance and insight into understanding your Authentic Neurodivergent Identity as a late-diagnosed Autistic or person with ADHD or as a person who is questioning your Autism or ADHD.
- Support for your role as a parent with Neuro and LGBTQ+ Affirming parenting tools and strategies to support your children and teens with their behaviour, anxiety, panic attacks, melt-downs, shut-downs and autistic burn-out – which will have huge ongoing benefits for their (and your) mental health.
- Support with how to respond to your teen’s ‘coming out’ in terms of sexuality and gender with understanding and sensitivity.
- Assistance as to how you can adapt your parenting approach to meet the needs, strengths and difficulties of your child.
- Support with how to get on the same page with a co-parent, and set boundaries with friends and extended family members when it comes to unsolicited comments or advice about your children.
- Guidance with how to navigate the New Zealand school and mental health systems.
- Guidance for how to be more Trauma-Informed and Neuro-Affirming towards yourself, including how to make time for and prioritize yourself and your needs as the Neurodivergent full-time carer of a child or teenager with complex needs.
- A safe place to share your questions about your child’s, teenager’s and/or your Neurodivergence, your thoughts, emotions and grief.
- Support with creating a new ‘plan’ for yourself and your family going forward.
Every Neurodivergent person and family is different and has different support needs. This means that there is a ‘no one size fits all’ approach that is going to suit everyone. This is why I believe in listening to my clients and supporting them in a way that feels right for them and their families.
Let me give you the empathy, time, trauma-informed, personal guidance and practical skills that you need so that you can feel safe to be seen, heard and understood.
My 1:1 Parent Coaching Partnership provides the privacy, support and personalized response to support both you as a parent and your children and teen/s
Book your complimentary 30-minute Parent Connection Call with me to get started.
What you can expect from our 1-1 Coaching Partnership:
- Confidential, personalized support for you and your family.
- Empathy, understanding and guidance for you while you explore your Neurodivergent identity and your parenting journey from a parenting coach with decades of professional experience supporting children and families and lived personal experience with her own Neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ Children and Teens.
- Trauma-informed, evidence-based, practical tools that will equip you with an empowering skill set that will give you grounded confidence in yourself and as a parent.
How it works:
60-minute Zoom Sessions (weekly or bi-weekly)
$135 per session. (If you are in New Zealand speak to to me about how you can use your individualized funding to pay for your sessions with me)