In 2019 we as a family were given news that changed our lives forever. Our eldest child who was 18 years old at the time, was identified as Autistic (and that this meant that our other children and us as parents probably were Autistic too)

With news this monumental you might expect to receive wrap-around support, guidance and tools to help us navigate this new and overwhelming journey as a family… 

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

In reality, our family (like so many countless others) were handed a diagnosis report, a handful of pamphlets and a list of websites and left to find our way through a stretched, confusing and disempowering system.

This life-changing discovery came after years of struggling to support our children with their mental health through the system (and failing).

On the one hand, it was a relief to have a reason for why…

However, initially, the only thing this identification process gave us was a name for what was happening and a million more questions and worries for our child’s future.

We were a family at crisis point. 

We still had all the same challenges as before our child was identified as Autistic. The only difference now was that we also had a shitload more research and self-education to add to our already overloaded capacity as parents.

To say we were struggling would have been a gross understatement. I can still remember how lonely, isolated and totally overwhelmed we all felt.  

Deep down I knew that I wanted more for my family than simply getting by.  This is why I invested in myself and my family through countless hours of research, professional development and learning from other neurodivergent lived experiences (including my children’s).

Building on my background as a teacher and parenting coach, I made it my mission to understand Autism and ADHD and my children’s (and my own) unique wiring. 

Things slowly got better, and easier and Wayne and I started feeling more confident in parenting our Neurodivergent children.

Now to say that I have all the answers and that parenting is no longer challenging for me would be a lie.  Autism and ADHD are lifelong and dynamic disabilities, we are all different and there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution that will work for everyone and this comes with its struggles and challenges. This is a reality that we parents of neurodivergent parents and individuals live with daily.

Here is what I learned along the way:

  • How my children’s unique brains and nervous systems work.
  • How my brain and nervous system work and influence how I parent my children.
  • How to put the what I learned into practice.
  • How to treat myself with grace, kindness, compassion and forgiveness.
  • Confidence in myself and the ability to trust my parenting decisions and instincts.
  • The importance of surrounding myself with a community or other parents who ‘get it’.

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

The most rewarding thing for me as a mum from this learning journey has been how this improved life for my kids

Here are some of the benefits we experienced:

  • Firstly, radically improved relationships in our family!
  • Improved communication and reduced family conflicts.
  • Fewer meltdowns, shutdowns and panic attacks in our children.
  • Improved mental health for our children (and us as parents)

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

These are all things I could have only dreamed possible before our Autism journey began. The kids, Wayne and I share our journey with other families on our podcast.  You can listen here.

This journey has been so transformative for us, that it fueled my desire to help other families who were struggling as we had been.  This led me to offer 1-1 parent coaching and group coaching for parents of Neurodivergent children and teens. With this intention, The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox was born.

What Is The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox?

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox is a neuro-affirming, trauma-informed, 6-week online group coaching and education program and community for parents of neurodivergent children and teens.

Our mission is to support parents, with the lived experience, guidance and community to help them understand their children (and themselves), cut through the confusion and the overwhelm and give you real and actionable tools so that you can feel equipped, empowered and confident as a parent.

I wish a program like this had been available to me and my family at the beginning of our journey. This was such a vulnerable time for us as a family and I know that it is for you too. My family deserved so much more than a handful of pamphlets and a list of websites and so do your family. 

Here are some questions you may have about The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox. 

Q – Who is The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox for?

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox is for parents of neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD or AuDHD) children or teens, who are looking for a way to support themselves and their child in a neuro-affirming way.

This programme is suitable for families who:

  • Know that there is something ‘different’ about their child and recognise that they are neurodivergent (You may or may not be on a waiting list for an official assessment).
  • Recently received their child’s diagnosis of Autism or ADHD.
  • Have been processing their child’s diagnosis and are now ready to learn more.

This wrap-around toolbox program which incorporates prerecorded education modules, live weekly group coaching sessions and community, teaches you important tools to help you understand your child’s unique wiring, safeguard your child’s (and your) mental health and improve your relationship with your child.

Q – Do we need to have an ‘official diagnosis’ of Autism or ADHD to be part of The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox?

No. Official diagnosis is a privilege that not every family has access to or seeks out for a variety of reasons.  We believe that self-identification is valid. We are inclusive and accepting of all Neurodivergent families.

Q – Can You Explain How The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox Works?

The Neurodivergent Parents Toolbox is so much more than just a 6-week group coaching program.  It is a place for families of Neurodivergent children and teens to find their village.  

The program is delivered online and live using a method of prerecorded modules, live weekly coaching sessions, and interactions within our private community.  Our private community (which is not a Facebook group) is available through the Mighty Networks app and is part of the Parenting Neurodivergent Kids Together Community.

Here is what you will get as part of the program: 

  • A week-by-week curriculum of recorded modules, scripts and resources to go through at your own pace.
  • 6 x 1 hour group coaching sessions.
  • Wrap-around support and communication with me through the chat in the Mighty Networks app.
  • Neuro-affirming and trauma-informed practical tools and strategies developed from lived experience and evidence-based frameworks and research!
  • A small private online community away from social media of parents who ‘get it’.
  • Full, ongoing access to the recordings, resources and community after the program ends.

Each intake of families is capped at 20 families to allow you to get to know the other families in the program in a real and meaningful way. 

You also have the benefit of connecting with parents from other cohorts of the program in the main Parenting Neurodivergent Kids Together Community.

Q – I am looking for something that my partner and I can engage with together so we can be on the same page with our parenting, can we attend The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox together?

Yes, you can!  I understand how essential it is for both parents to be on the same page with parenting their Neurodivergent children. The cost of the program is for two people (You and a co-parent). 

man and woman holding hands
Q – My partner and I have differing work schedules and find it challenging to attend things live together. Are the sessions recorded so that we can watch these together?

Yes, you can! Although it is recommended that you attend as many of the group coaching sessions live as you are able, all the coaching sessions are recorded so you have the convenience of watching the recorded session (or rewatching sessions) at a time that suits you and your schedule. 

You can also submit your questions to be answered in the coaching session if you are unable to make it.

Q – Will I have access to the program materials (modules, recordings, resources etc.) and the community after the 6-week program is finished?

Yes! You will have access to all the program materials as well as the community for the lifetime of the program at no additional cost.  

Neurodivergent Family
Q – What will we get out of being part of The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox?

In a nutshell, this 6-week group online coaching program will support you to go from feeling confused, overwhelmed and helpless as to how best to support your Neurodivergent child/children, to feeling calm, confident and empowered in your parenting by equipping you with essential understanding, tools and strategies.

Here are some of the things you will learn:

Week One: Understanding How Your Child’s Brain Works.

  • Learn to understand how your child’s Autistic, ADHD or AuDHD brain, and nervous system works, and why they do the things they do.
  • Learn how to adapt your parenting to support your child in neuro-affirming way.
  • Learn how to hold space for your parenting experience with self-compassion.

Week Two: Understanding Your Child’s Nervous System – Why Explosive Behaviours, Meltdowns, Shutdowns and Burnout Happen.

  • Learn why meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout happen.
  • Learn how to support your child before, during and after a meltdown or shutdown happens.
  • Learn about the connection between meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout.
  • Learn how to reduce the occurrences of meltdowns and shutdowns.
  • Learn how to understand yourself and your emotions.

Week Three: Understanding Demand Avoidance / Drive For Autonomy.

  • Learn what demand avoidance is and why this happens.
  • Learn strategies to stabilise your child’s nervous system and work co-operatively with your child.
  • Learn ways to create more peaceful connected moments with your child.

Week Four: Understanding And Supporting Your Child’s Executive Function.

  • Learn how executive functioning affects your child’s self-esteem, their behaviour, social interactions and their school work.
  • Learn helpful strategies to support your child’s natural executive functioning ability.

Week Five: Supporting Your Child’s Relationships With Others.

  • Learn how Autism and ADHD can affect relationships with others.
  • Learn how to support your child to navigate sibling and peer relationships.
  • Learn how to manage sibling rivalry and arguments.

Week Six:  Navigating Systems

  • Explore what is important to you as a parent/family. 
  • Get on the same page as your partner.
  • Learn how to advocate for child with teachers and other key workers. 
  • Empower your child to advocate for themselves.
The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox
This toolbox experience goes so much deeper than tools and strategies here is what you will gain from being part of the program:
  • Feel confident and empowered in your parenting decisions!
  • A deeper connection and understanding between your child and yourself as a parent!
  • Feel more connected to and on the same team as your parenting partner!
  • Confidently advocate for your child and your family!
  • Restore joy, connection and calm to your parenting and family life!
  • Rediscover what a good life looks like for you and your family aligned with your values and aspirations!
  • Grow your village of support with other parents who get it!
  • Start parenting from a place of hope and possibility again!

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox starts on 5 August 2024. Click Here To Join The Waitlist

The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

The investment for the program is:

Course and Group Coaching $495 NZD (or $123.75 a fortnight when you use Afterpay at checkout)

As part of my commitment to ethical practice, extended payment plans and hardship scholarships are available on request.

Q – When does the next toolbox start?

Monday, 5 August 2024.

Q – I still have more questions. How can I contact you to find out if The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox is the right fit for me and my family?

You can email Tanya:

or call Tanya on 027 924 8202.

I look forward to supporting you through the next stage of your family’s journey.

What Parents Are Saying About The Neurodivergent Family Toolbox

“I’m loving the content in these weekly sessions Tanya, it’s all so informative and so relevant for life in our whare.”

“We are talking such big topics that are meaty. I worried when I signed up that this might be a beginners course in parenting ND but you are providing lots of valuable information and challenging lots of my thought processes.”

“I really enjoyed it, my husband said last night he could tell how much I had my confidence back leading the boys.”

“I’m slowly working through the course material and it is so good to have things explained in a clear way and then discussed/reflected on. I have been talking a lot about your course and highly recommending it to parents and Educators I work with day to day.”

Meet Tanya

Tanya Valentin is a Trauma-Informed and Neuro-Affirming Family Coach, NZ Registered Teacher, Lecturer (Te Pukenga – Early Childhood Education and Care), Author and Podcaster.

Tanya is a Neurodivergent person and a proud Mama of 3 Neurodivergent humans. She works to support, educate and foster inclusion, acceptance and positive life outcomes for all neurodivergent children, teenagers and adults in all her areas of life.

Tanya lives with her family in beautiful Northland, New Zealand. She has authored several books and blogs and co-hosts the Seen Heard Accepted Podcast with her family. She is the founder of the Neurodivergent Family Toolbox and the Parenting Neurodivergent Kids Together Community and podcast.

Tanya is committed to making a difference in the world by supporting parents with practical tools and strategies to help them understand their child and their unique wiring, feel confident in their parenting and nurture strong connections between themselves and their children.

Tanya Valentin