Rehumanising Parenting

Welcome to Rehumanising Parenting

This is a space where I explore what it means to place humanity — rather than performance, compliance, or perfection — at the centre of parenting.

Here, I share stories from my own journey alongside the reflections, nervous system insights, and gentle unlearning that have supported both my family and the families I walk with.

Rehumanising Parenting is a response to models that reduce parenting to strategy. It recognises that parenting neurodivergent children, especially those navigating burnout, PDA, or chronic stress, cannot be separated from context, capacity, and relationship.

This work is neuro-affirming, low-demand, and grounded in nervous system safety. It honours adaptation rather than shaming it. It values connection over control. It understands behaviour as communication, not character.

Parenting a neurodivergent child or teen isn’t just about what we do. It reshapes who we are becoming, not only as parents, but as whole humans with needs, histories, grief, and longings of our own.

Reparenting ourselves.
Tending to our nervous systems.
Reclaiming identity beyond the role of “good parent.”
Questioning systems that never saw our children clearly.

You’ll find those threads woven throughout this blog.

I write from lived experience, as a parent, educator, and fellow human walking this path, not as a therapist or medical professional. My work is informed by research, by advocacy, and by the wisdom of the families I have the privilege to support.

If you’re looking for a place that prioritises relationship over rules and context over comparison, I hope this feels like a soft place to land.

And if something resonates, you’re welcome to linger, share, or simply carry it quietly with you.

We are not meant to do this alone.

T x

woman talking to a girl while sitting on bed

Distress Language: How to Tune into What Your Child Can’t Say

A Collaboration Between Tanya Valentin and Laura Hellfeld Has your neurodivergent child ever said things like, “I hate you,” “I hate myself,” “I wish you would die,” or “I want to die” during a meltdown? Or perhaps they make unintelligible sounds, repeat the same words, cry, laugh, or say things that seem ‘inappropriate’ when they’re […] Read more…

girl sitting on brown woven chair using silver laptop

When Everything Changes

A tender look at grieving parenting expectations, change and the radical acceptance of who your neurodivergent child is becoming after burnout. There’s a question I hear often, though it’s rarely spoken aloud: “Will my child ever go back to how they were before burnout?” It’s such a tender, raw question. And underneath it is often […] Read more…

man in blue button up shirt and blue denim shorts using macbook

Why ‘Be Consistent’ can be Harmful Advice for Parenting Neurodivergent Kids

If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child, chances are you’ve been told at some point that “consistency is key.” Therapists, teachers, and even well-meaning friends and family may have advised you that setting firm, consistent expectations will help your child learn, behave, and adapt. But what if I told you that this advice is not only […] Read more…

The Kinkeeping Load: Balancing Family Expectations During The Holidays While Parenting a Child in Burnout

Kinkeeping—the unseen work of holding a family together—often falls on one person. It’s the planning, the remembering, and the emotional labour that keeps family connections alive. For many parents, especially mothers, kinkeeping becomes another full-time job. Now imagine juggling this load while caring for a neurodivergent child in burnout. It’s like trying to balance an […] Read more…

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