My work with Parents and Families is based on the following Three Guiding Parenting Principles:

Connection First 

Neuroscience has taught us that the attachment we have with a parent or primary caregiver is the foundation from which all our relationships with people, places and things are built. A safe and secure connection with a significant adult can be a lifeline for a child (no matter their age) and is the most significant protective factor for their holistic well-being. Parenting that prioritises connection and the relationship we have with our children over compliance sets children up for life with a strong sense of self and creates a legacy of self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love for our children, their children and future generations.

As connection-focused parents, we embodied this principle in the follows ways of knowing, doing and being:

• We understand that connection is the goal of our interactions with our children.  We therefore strive to connect with our children before giving them advice, or trying to ‘fix’ or problem-solve with them.
• We understand the importance of our connection with ourselves.  We parent from who we are and so every parenting journey is a reparenting journey.
• We view our children (and ourselves) through the lens of unconditional positive regard. 
• We stay curious about the experiences of our children and see their (and our own) behaviours and emotions as a window into their unmet needs.
• When we make mistakes with our children we model making repairs to our relationship with them.

Affirming Our Authentic Neurodivergent Identities

For centuries Neurodivergent human beings have been dismissed, misunderstood, not consulted and ‘othered’ by our culture.  We have felt the need to conform and hide who we truly are as a way to survive in the world. It is time that we reclaim our Authentic Neurodivergent Identities, and culture for ourselves.  It is time to take back our own stories and rewrite the narrative of how we are spoken about and the language that is used to describe us.

This principle is embodied in the follows ways of knowing, doing and being:

• No one is ‘broken’ or needs to be ‘fixed’. We are divergent (different) not disordered.
• We speak about ourselves in affirming ways – using identity first and strength based language and not referring to ourselves in pathologized terms.
• We understand that all Neurodivergent people are different with their own unique characteristics, strength and challenges.
• Every Neurodivergent person is a capable and competent ‘whole’ human being on their own journey.  We identify that every person is in their own space and time there is no rush to get someone to the ‘next level’. 
• We deserve to have a voice and to have our Neurodivergent Identities taken into consideration when receiving support from education, community and medical services.
• We deserve to be treated fairly and with respect and dignity as self-determining, sovereign human beings.

Trauma-Informed And Neuro-Affirming Parenting And Reparenting

Due to the current nature of the Neurodivergent experience, many Autistic, ADHDers and AuDHDers have intergenerational, acute and developmental trauma associated with their lived experience. This is why in order to be truly neuro-affirming we also need to be trauma-informed as parents of neurodivergent children and teenagers and as well as neurodivergent individuals working on being more neuro-affirming with ourselves.

This principle is embodied in the follows ways of knowing, doing and being:

• There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to what neuro-affirming  parenting, reparenting and support look and feel like. 
• To make a significant differences in our own lives and the lives of our children we need to be open to observe and listen deeply to our children and our own inner child. 
• We adapt our parenting to suit our children’s individual strengths, needs, sensory profiles and how their brains are wired.
• We nurture our children’s sovereignty by working alongside them and not ‘doing to them’. Through this approach we empower our children to grow their self-authority and learn to first look inside themselves to feel what is right for them before looking outward.
• Through our connection with our children, we attune to their needs and the cues that they are send us as bids for understanding and connection.  

I am committed to working in partnership with parents and families. Neurodivergent parents know their children and families best and are the expert of themselves by merit of their lived experience.